Feeling Feelings again, and M&M’s

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I have read so much about getting sober, being sober and early sobriety.  Something that was mentioned frequently was experiencing  feelings again, good, bad or other.

Up until this week, my feeling have not been at issue.  I was happy to wake up feeling good.  I was no longer feeling guilt about my drinking.  I finally got rid of all the anxiety that I felt every day about everything.  In summary I was feeling pretty happy and pleased with myself that I have made it this far, and haven’t had a really, really hard time.

That was until this week.  All of a sudden, I feel like all my nerve endings are exposed to the world.  Anything or anyone that brushes by me seems to hurt my feelings.  I am sad, mad, but mostly hurt, everything this week seems to wound my tender feelings. I am hypersensitive, and it does not feel good.  I have had tears in my eyes almost every day, and I rarely cry.  It is only Wednesday, and I have been in weeping off and on every day.  I don’t like this, even though it means I am getting better.

I have read that my brains neurotransmitters have been disrupted by all of the alcohol I was drinking.  I also understand that it takes them a while to recover and heal, but did they ALL have to reconnect this week?

I know there is nothing I can do about this, other than feel the feelings, take a deep breath,  try not to deal with everything all at once, and realize that this too is a phase that will pass.

I  know that this is part of recovery, and that my body is healing, and that it is a good thing.

I don’t like feeling so raw.

Even M&M’s aren’t making me feel better.

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10 thoughts on “Feeling Feelings again, and M&M’s

  1. Keep strong. I was reading a sobriety page earlier that talked about meditation. I have been wanting to attempt that in the past. Maybe I will try it today (after I get offline finally!)

    M&M= mentality & meditation. 🙂

  2. My fiancé just said, ” you are really emotional about this, I don’t feel any emotions” he also quit drinking. I’m sorry but that seemed like a judgement call. Men always see emotion as weak. So I took it as that he got pissed and said it wasn’t but I know it was.

  3. Huge hug to you. I know that raw nerves feeling all too well.

    I’m only 32 days sober but have had so many day 1s I feel like until now, I’ve only had the shitty insecure type of sobriety.

    Stay strong and administer chocolate is my motto 🙂

    • Good for you on 32 days. I was there not too long ago. The dark chocolate M&M’s have become my new glass of wine. I love those little guys.
      What ever works.
      Keep racking up those days. I am told it gets easier, I am anxious to see 🙂

  4. Big hug for you. I’m at the same stage. I likened it to having all my feelings dumped in a blender and run on high speed. I know it will get better but for someone who never cried often, the tears are exhausting. Sending positive energy!

  5. Late in commenting on this, but just read this post now – and oh, how I relate to this one. My emotions are all over the place. But I particularly liked this paragraph:
    “I have read that my brains neurotransmitters have been disrupted by all of the alcohol I was drinking. I also understand that it takes them a while to recover and heal, but did they ALL have to reconnect this week?”
    It’s so tough, and yet you still made me chuckle. Hope those re-connected neurotransmitters aren’t giving you too much grief today 🙂
    MTM. x

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