I have read so much about getting sober, being sober and early sobriety. Something that was mentioned frequently was experiencing feelings again, good, bad or other.
Up until this week, my feeling have not been at issue. I was happy to wake up feeling good. I was no longer feeling guilt about my drinking. I finally got rid of all the anxiety that I felt every day about everything. In summary I was feeling pretty happy and pleased with myself that I have made it this far, and haven’t had a really, really hard time.
That was until this week. All of a sudden, I feel like all my nerve endings are exposed to the world. Anything or anyone that brushes by me seems to hurt my feelings. I am sad, mad, but mostly hurt, everything this week seems to wound my tender feelings. I am hypersensitive, and it does not feel good. I have had tears in my eyes almost every day, and I rarely cry. It is only Wednesday, and I have been in weeping off and on every day. I don’t like this, even though it means I am getting better.
I have read that my brains neurotransmitters have been disrupted by all of the alcohol I was drinking. I also understand that it takes them a while to recover and heal, but did they ALL have to reconnect this week?
I know there is nothing I can do about this, other than feel the feelings, take a deep breath, try not to deal with everything all at once, and realize that this too is a phase that will pass.
I know that this is part of recovery, and that my body is healing, and that it is a good thing.
I don’t like feeling so raw.
Even M&M’s aren’t making me feel better.