I got all of these at the used book store for under $30.00. Big score! Although, I should have looked a little more closely at the “Food for Thought” book. It is for over eaters anonymous, but the inspirational thoughts translate to alcohol easily. I started my morning with the daily readings in both of the inspirational books. Positive thoughts are a nice way to start the day.
My husband went to the book store with me. As with most spouses of a newly a sober person, he seems to not know what to say, when to say anything, or how to express his feelings. He was curious as to why I wanted to get the books, which I misinterpreted as negativity. When I told him my sponsor recommended them, I felt as though he was giving me a impugning vibe. I asked him if there was a problem, and he said no. He just doesn’t know what to think.
We went our separate ways in the book store, which is huge. I found the books, and wandered over to the fiction isle. I had set my stack of AA books on a shelf as I was looking at fiction author trying to determine if I had read the book.
He came into the isle, and asked if I was ready to go. I said sure, and proceeded to pick up the six books. He just looked at me with this sadness in his eyes, and said, “Oh honey.”
I came undone.
Tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I asked him if he was ashamed of me. He just hugged me, as I tried to get myself together, and said NO, he is just so sorry it is so hard for me.
Sometimes the support I don’t think he has for my process is just stuffed away because he doesn’t know what to say. I misinterpret his silence as condemnation when he is just as confused and heavyhearted as I am.