We are celebrating our 8th anniversary today. About 3 months ago we decided to take a trip to Austin Texas for a present. We arrived today.
This trip did not get off to a good start. We had a blow out fight yesterday afternoon, and were barely speaking when we left the house, got on the airplane, landed and arrived at the hotel. Sounds fun, huh?
The fight was stupid, as most fights between spouses are. Usually what we are fighting about isn’t even the real issue. It generally takes a good ten minutes of yelling to get to the meat of the problem.
I am disappointed with myself about this one. I had just had a serious breakthrough in my thinking about how to deal with my husband and his ever changing moods.
I had realized that I am powerless over his moods. I had decided to take time to respond to any loaded statements, think about my resaction and not engage. I had also decided that he wasn’t going to steal my peacefulness from me anymore. A step 1A. Admitting powerlessness over other things besides alcohol. My first attempt at this change in our interactions went as well as my first attempt at sobriety, it was an epic fail.
As with sobriety, I am back on day 1, but I am determined. I will make the necessary changes, and hold onto my peacefulness because I need it, it helps me stay sober.
We did not discuss the fight, but we did go out to a lovely dinner.
Day 1 was a bit easy, because we weren’t really speaking, so there was no arguing. Wish me luck on day 2 tomorrow.
I need to stop, think, breathe and hold onto my peacefulness. I need to not let his moods take that from me.
I think I can do this.
P.S. I did really want a celebratory drink with dinnet, not really celebratory, I just really wanted a drink. I had water. Day 116 tomorrow.