I made it through the most stressful part of this month long trip. I went to my mother’s and brother’s and did not drink.
On the telephone on the way up the highway, I reiterated to my mother that I am currently abstaining from alcohol. I just haven’t given her all the details.
As I mentioned, I told my brother and his wife about my sobriety and AA.
I arrived at my mother’s on Wednesday, and spent the afternoon working on her computer. I think sometimes the elderly should not own computers, as they manage to mess them up but can not figure out how they did it.
We went to dinner, at a place that did not serve drinks, and then I left to go to my brother’s for the evening. I arrived there, and we sat late into the night chatting, but I did not notice any alcohol being consumed.
Day One, done, felt great.
The following day I spent with my mother taking her from store to store. She no longer drives due to macular degeneration, so has to rely on others for rides. My plan was to get her on the public transportation that will pick her up outside her door, and take her to all the stores that we went to, but she was not interested. (This is a skill she needs, as my brother, her ride, is moving to Missouri on 7/10, and she will be alone in VA for a few months. You can lead a horse to water…)
I arrived at my brother’s house after this long day of passive-aggressive comments with some shopping thrown in, dying for a glass or bottle of wine. Can anyone say TRIGGER???
I poured myself a lovely club soda and pomegranate juice, and tried to relax, and let all of the snarky comments go. I said the serenity prayer, and rubbed my lucky 6 month power necklace.
No one at my brothers drank that night either. Odd, but it made me happy.
Day two, complete, felt shaky but got through it.
The last day, I coerced my sister in law to go with us. Again, we wandered stores, and listened to passive aggressive comments. My SIL deflects better, because she has no history with my mother. I spent a lot of time wandering in a different direction, taking deep breaths.
We finished out this day. It was not a smooth get away, my mother was clingy and trying to elicit promises of my return on the way back down the East coast. Somehow we got out without having to invite her for dinner.
SIL and I went for a relaxing pedicure. She had a glass of wine at the salon. ( When did nail salons start serving wine? Good thing I didn’t know about that when I was drinking… )
We arrived back at my brothers house, and uh oh….party on the porch. Neighbors were over, and drinking had commenced.
My SIL had to take their 15 year old daughter to the movies, so she left. I was stuck, and extremely uncomfortable.
I emailed my sponsor.
I stayed inside.
I went outside.
I went back inside.
I felt like I was being rude, but then thought it through.
I was never going to see any of the people sitting outside again. So why did I have to go out? I didn’t, so I stayed inside.
When my SIL got back and got her cranberry juice and sat down outside, I went out. Somehow, her presence made it easier.
I did not count my brother’s drinks, but I do know that after dinner, he was talking some nonsense, and my SIL disgustedly told him to go to bed.
We all did, it was 10 pm.
Day 3 was done, and so was I.
I headed out the following morning for the 6 hour ride to NY. It took close to 8 hours to get here, but it was fine.
I did it, another sober first. Got through a family visit without the numbing effects of alcohol.
There will be a few uncomfortable situations coming up, but NOTHING like dealing with my family. I have a new found love and respect for my SIL. She was amazing. She held my hand, and didn’t even know it.
I did make more of this trip in my mind then was necessary, but if I hadn’t I could have possibly slipped on the second day. I am glad I had my toolbox full.
I am grateful for my sponsor who is always there for me.
And my newest ally, my SIL.
On I go.