Not to be an ungrateful bitch, but I am already bored, homesick, and miss my daily routine, and it is day 3 of the two month get away from the “cold” winter in Tennessee.
Vacations at the beach are meant for drinking, something I no longer do.
I am completely incapable of relaxing. I believe it stems from a childhood of being on high alert for any chore that may have gone undone. As kids doing nothing was seen as laziness, and it was not tolerated. Therefore, I spent my time around the house sussing out things to do, to at least look busy, and fly under the radar of getting yelled at.
We arrived at our 2 month rental, in warm and sunny Florida, less than 48 hours ago. As of tonight, I have already done 3 loads of laundry, swept and dusted the condo.I have taken two 5 mile runs, watched 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls, one movie, and finished one book. I sat on the beach for two hours today, and felt like I wanted to punch myself in the face, or drink.
I am not going to drink, but it sure is crossing my mind VERY frequently. Not only am thinking about drinking, I am talking about drinking.
Yes, I have looked up the AA meetings in the area, and guess which night there are none? Yup, Wednesday night.
So, here I am with you guys. Telling you I am thinking about drinking, and talking about drinking, about having a drink.
I am not going to drink tonight, I will go to a meeting tomorrow, but how the heck am I going to cure this boredom? (Which seems to be creating a HUGE desire to drink, and think about it, and talk about it.)
I need a To Do list. I always feel much better with a To Do list.
My current To Do list has:
check youtube for meditation videos
learn to use the settings on the camera
move the wine glasses to a different cabinet, one that I don’t open numerous times a day
That ought to take until 10 am tomorrow.
I need something that will quite down the voices in my head that are calling me lazy and continuously tell me to get up and go do something.
The washing machine and dryer went on strike this afternoon.
Boredom is bad for my sobriety.
Any and all suggestions will be immediately set into action. It isn’t as if I don’t have time to try new things.