Mished Up wrote a great blog about choosing a Word of the Year. Her premise is instead of making some inane resolution that will inevitably end up in failure, choose a WORD to define your year instead. I am not a New Year’s resolution kind of gal, so I decided to jump on the WORD OF THE YEAR, bandwagon.
I have been struggling a lot this year with a variety of things. It seems like 2014 really had it out for me. I decided to get sober. My son moved home after graduating from college, was unemployed, then under- employed. My husband was not happy about the living arrangement, nor was I, but to a lesser degree. My father in law turned 99, and because he is still living alone, we spent many months this past summer living with him trying to get him assistance and get him to stop driving, Then my mother received the double terminal cancer diagnosis. Things can only get better in 2015, right?
I have rarely been home over the last 6 months, which has been difficult on me mentally. I am a control freak who loves routine,a To Do list and being home is my biggest comfort zone.
We then decided to take a stay-cation, which has really thrown me for a loop.
To counteract the mental torture I have been putting myself through, I started listening to podcast’s while running. I have listened to many from Klen + Sobr, starting with Paul from Message in a Bottle. I then went through the whole 12 episodes of Serial, which was fantastic. Then I fell back on my old stand by, AA speakers from the YouTube page Odomtology. My all time favorite speaker is Sandy B. His speech “Practicing the Presence of Now”, has really has spoken to me, most especially the segment below.
” We are already all that we can become. We just have to see it. We just have to uncover it.
Here is a story about the past the present and the future. They got together one day, and said you know we are always in conflict. We are always tugging at one another. Why don’t we hold a meeting, sort of like a peace counsel and we’ll see if we can come up with some kind of compromise, and they all agreed. And then they pointed upstairs and they said you know that meeting room upstairs is an historic room, a lot of important historical events take place in that room, why don’t we use that room, and they all said “Yeah”.
So, the only thing left was the time of the meeting, and the past said, I think we should hold the meeting two years ago, we are all familiar with that. It won’t be frightening, we know exactly what it is. I think the safest thing, where we will be the most comfortable will be to go back two years ago.
And the future said, “That would be boring, we already know what that is, I think we should hold it two years from now we don’t have a clue what that would be, it would be a big adventure. It would be very exciting, it will be dangerous, it will be really something.”
And the Now said, “Well you guys both make a great case. But, If we did go back two years ago, when we got there it will be NOW. And if we went ahead two years, when we got there it would be NOW, so I think we ought to do NOW.
And the other two couldn’t find a flaw in this argument, and they grumblingly agreed to go sit around the table. And observers pointed out that as they took their seats, there was only one left, and that was the NOW and the room got very bright with light due to the absence of the other two players.
I FEEL THAT IS THE WONDERFUL RELIEF OF GETTING RID OF EVERYTHING THAT ISN’T THE PRESENT MOMENT. WHICH IS A VERY HEAVY BURDEN.
I have chosen my word of the year to be NOW. I am going to spend my year working very hard to stay in the NOW, keep my thoughts in the NOW, and live in the NOW.
As an aside, MY SON GOT A JOB!!!! Thank you to everyone who may have said a little prayer for him. He starts on 1/19, in Joliet, Illinois. (I wanted him to move out, but not THAT far away.) I am so happy that he will finally begin his life. I have prayed to my HP, The Universe, Mother Nature and God, (wanted to cover all the possibilities) every night since the interview. I don’t know if it is prayer, the planetary alignment or the winter solstice, but I am so happy for him and his new adventure.
My father-in-law just called, his doctor took his license away. He is NOT happy, but boy we are!
Lastly,I did make a New Year’s resolution, it is to buy NO new shoes, aside from running shoes, and two pairs of flip flops for the summer, for the whole year of 2015. I brought 19 pairs of shoes on this vacation, and bought a pair last Saturday. I have 10 more pair to wear if I am to wear every pair I brought. The 19 pairs are just a small sampling of my “summer” shoes. I won’t even go into how many pairs of boots I have. (I clearly have a problem, I am willing to admit to being powerless over shoes and purses.)
Happy New Year to you all, and stay sober my friends!